


Who Is In Control?

by Lunar_Spice



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dark, Fear, Gen, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Spice/pseuds/Lunar_Spice
Summary: Inspired by the song of the same title by Halsey. Carlos chose good with the rest of the Core Four. So everything should be fine, right? Well, not according to the voices that Carlos starts hearing. The whispers in his ears and the shadows flickering in his vision have Carlos questioning: Who is in control?
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38





	1. Introduction

> There is evil within the hearts of all men. Such is the balance of nature. Good can only be prevalent for so long before evil musters its forces, and seizes upon the heart - twisting friendships into war, loyalty into deceit, and kindness into unadultered hate.
> 
> ~Anonymous

It started with denial.

Carlos knew that normal people didn't jump at nothing, didn't flinch in complete silence. So, when the rest of the Core Four asked him what was wrong, he denied it.

He even denied it to himself.

He tried so hard to believe that it was all in his head.

The problem was that that belief was actually true.


	2. Alone 'Til The Morning

Carlos jerked awake, his skin prickling. He could still feel the terror that his nightmare had instilled in him.

It was early in the wee hours of the morning, but Carlos threw off the covers and started pacing anyway. He quickly checked to make sure that he was still clothed in his standard red, white, and black pajamas: he tended to overheat under the heavy comforter, so he would often undress in his sleep.

The teenager paused in his pacing, his gaze darting to a spot on the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Whatever that was couldn't be here. No one else saw them.

So why did he?

That, along with many similar questions, had been plaguing Carlos for about a week now. The boy sat on the edge of his bed but didn't bother laying down again. He knew that it wouldn't help; he wasn't going to sleep again any time soon.

Instead, Carlos decided to try to distract himself by thinking about what he had to do for the day. He rested his elbows on his knees, eyes growing unfocused. He lasted on that train of thought for only a minute or so, however. Unwittingly, his mind wandered back to how this had all started.

A week earlier, Carlos had noticed a faint flicker in his vision. It only showed up very rarely and hardly distracted him, so he didn't think anything of it. It was only a shadow, he reasoned. To him, it just meant that he probably needed to make an appointment to get his eyes checked.

However, only a few days after that, the teenager started to get anxious. The shadows were in his peripheral vision much more often now. Carlos had gone to the school nurse to try to figure out what was wrong, but, after conducting several tests and even casting a few detection spells, she told him that his eyes were perfectly healthy.

Carlos had snorted at that conclusion. It just didn't make sense.

At about the same time, Carlos started hearing distant murmurs in his ears. They were only whispers, barely distinguishable, but he knew that nobody around him was causing them.

He was brought back to the present only briefly as he heard a whisper in his left ear, so soft he couldn't make out what it said. He flinched instinctively, even though he knew that no one was there.

Unbidden, the memory of his most recent nightmare flashed before his eyes. Carlos saw Cruella, brandishing a large vase in one hand and her cigarette holder in the other. As she approached him, her eyes grew darker and darker until they looked like two pits, both leading into an endless abyss.

Carlos curled in on himself, both in the vision and in real life. He knew what was coming, and he also knew that there was no way to avoid it. His eyes were wide as he saw Cruella lift the vase above her head, hold it there for what felt like hours, and finally throw it down towards his head.

A small tug on his pajama sleeve saved him from reliving that torture again. Carlos blinked as the vision faded away, squinting in the dim light of dawn.

"Are you okay?" That voice was real. Carlos turned to see Jay sitting next to him.

The younger teen quickly put on his mask: the one that every Isle kid had to protect their vulnerabilities. He plastered a carefree grin across his face as if the last few hours had not happened. "Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

Jay raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing his roommate. "Well, you were staring at nothing and muttering 'She's coming for me' for who knows how long. That, and you're crying."

Carlos reached up to feel his cheek. Sure enough, it was damp with tears. Funny, he didn't remember starting to cry.

"Just dealing with a nightmare," Carlos brushed Jay's concern away, seemingly nonchalant. Inwardly, however, he was still panicking. He couldn't get the image of Cruella's eyes out of his head.

"You seem to be having those a lot lately."

_You have no idea_. "I guess," he answered with a shrug. "Anyway," he said, quickly changing the subject before Jay could question him further. "I should probably go take Dude for a walk."

Carlos could feel Jay's eyes on him as he stood and walked to his closet. His hands were just reaching in to get a t-shirt when he heard a low voice hiss in his ear.

_**"You can't escape me."**_

He jerked back as if he had been burnt. That was the first time he actually heard words instead of faint nonsense.

It terrified him.

Carlos quickly turned around to see if Jay had seen his reaction. Luckily, the thief was rummaging through his own drawer, too engrossed in finding running shorts to notice his roommate's fear.

That made him breathe a sigh of relief. He really did not want to lie to Jay any more than he already was. Carlos held a hand over his chest, trying to soothe his rushing heartbeat.

Once his pulse evened out, the teenager turned and walked over to his nightstand, instead of reaching back into his closet.

It was no secret that Carlos loved notetaking. He took notes in every class. He even had notes on each of his friends, outlining them in detail, from their schedule to their favorite type of cookie. He had a different notebook for every subject, each one distinguished from the rest. But he didn't have a notebook for episodes like this. Not yet, at least.

Carlos pulled open the drawer and started looking through the different colored notepads. Finally, he settled on a black one with a pair of white crossbones on the cover. It was small enough that he could fit it into his pocket. Perfect. That way, if it happened again when he was in public, he could easily log it.

He flipped open to the first page, quickly writing the date up at the top. On the first line, he wrote:

  * 7:47 AM, male voice, "You can't escape me."



Satisfied, Carlos shut the cover and made his way over to the closet once more. He may have been lying when he said he was fine, but he had been telling the truth when he had told Jay that Dude needed a walk.

He quickly selected his red shorts and a black and white t-shirt. After he grabbed Dude's leash, he hesitated. Should he bring the notebook with him? After all, he wasn't going to be gone long. Glancing over at Jay (still getting dressed), Carlos grabbed it. It wouldn't hurt to have it with him. Just in case.

After muttering a goodbye to Jay, Carlos left their room, stifling a yawn. it was going to be another long day.


	3. A Mind Like A Deadly Disease

Walking Dude usually calmed Carlos down. It was a cathartic activity, letting Carlos enjoy the warm sunlight and the soft _woof_ s coming from Dude. This time, however, he was a bit too preoccupied to fully enjoy the crisp morning air.

_She's coming for me_. Those were the words that Jay claimed that he had been muttering. Carlos knew who 'she' was; who else could it be?

The teenager yawned. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in at least a week, and it was starting to show. He had never dozed off during a class before, yet now it was a regular occurrence.

Carlos hated it. He hated having to go to Evie for her notes. He hated the confused look on her face mingling with pity when she saw the faint bags under his eyes.

In Carlos' mind, pity equaled weakness. Even though he wasn't on the Isle anymore, Carlos avoided seeming weak. It had been worse on the Isle. In the marketplace, looking weak meant that he wasn't leaving with anything in his pockets, no matter how full they had been beforehand. At home, being weak only gave Cruella another reason to beat him.

Carlos shivered at the memory. His fingers absently brushed against his shoulder, where a prominent scar still tingled from time to time. On that particular occasion, he had started crying because some of the oils that he used on her furs got into his eyes. It didn't matter to Cruella that it was only a reflex; she still took off her high heel and started beating him with it.

Dude brushed up against Carlos' leg. Probably wondering why he had stopped walking. Carlos glanced down, grateful for the distraction.

Abruptly sitting down, the boy pulled Dude into his lap. The dog was more than happy to oblige, covering Carlos' face with licks. It was as if he could tell exactly what Carlos had been thinking about.

"Thanks, buddy," he said, pulling Dude into a hug. "I needed that."

**_"Tighter..."_**

"W-what?" Carlos asked aloud, hoping that that wasn't what he thought it was.

**_"Strangle that little beast!"  
_**

The harsh yell caused Carlos to jump, pushing Dude away from him. That voice. That voice had haunted him in his dreams ever since he had escaped its owner.

He didn't care if the voice was real or not; he had to get away. So Carlos did the only thing he knew to do: run.

He ran as if there was a pack of rabid dogs snarling at his heels. With no destination in mind, Carlos darted through the trees that dotted the field.

He was gasping, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack set in. it was hard to think through his whirling mind, but one thing cemented itself in his brain: the dorm. His dorm was warm and inviting. Cruella couldn't reach him there.

Could she?

Carlos pushed that question away violently. _She can't!_ He thought firmly. He could feel his chest tighten as he streaked to the boy's dormitory.

The back of his throat was starting to close, making it even harder to suck in air. Carlos reached the entrance, flinging the door open and dodging random students in the hallway.

He was wheezing at this point, but Carlos forced his legs to keep working. He took the steps two at a time, finally reaching his room. He gripped the doorknob and shook it.

In his haste and panic, Carlos forgot that he always locked the door behind him. All he knew was that the door to safety from Cruella wasn't opening.

Carlos rattled the knob so forcefully that it shook the entire door against its frame. He was just about to give up and curl into a fetal position (waiting for Cruella's inevitable arrival) when it finally opened.

Jay stood in the doorway, his mouth already opened in a question. But before he could say anything, Carlos was already moving.

He crashed right into Jay, sending them both sprawling onto the floor. Carlos tried to suck in a deep breath, but could only manage short, gasping ones.

The room was spinning, and Carlos just lay there on the floor with his hands clutching at his chest. The flickering was back again - now more than ever - only panicking him more.

What was wrong with him?

A voice echoed in his ears and a silhouette loomed over Carlos. He tried to scream, but all that his lungs could manage was a faint wheeze.

It wasn't until the figure came into focus that Carlos realized that Cruella wasn't sneering down at him again. Instead, Jay was there. He was holding Carlos' hand against his chest and taking deep, exaggerated breaths, trying to coax air back into the young boy's lungs.

Carlos wasn't sure how long they stayed like that: him hyperventilating on the floor of their room with Jay sitting next to him. But, eventually, the younger teenager's senses returned to him. He gathered strength in his arms to prop himself up, quickly assessing himself for any lasting damage: his head was aching, his chest hurt, and his legs felt like they were on fire. Luckily, nothing seemed broken or too badly damaged.

Carlos turned to Jay, afraid of the onslaught of questions and ( _ugh_ ) pity that was sure to come. Instead, he was met with a blank face. Jay gazed at his roommate, his eyes dark.

He finally spoke, settling a gentle hand on Carlos' shoulder. "I know you won't want to talk about it, but I'm going to ask anyway because I think you should get it out instead of bottling it up. So," he paused to take a deep breath. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Carlos swallowed as he considered his options. He could confide in Jay and risk showing weakness, or he could just walk away.

Looking away from Jay's disappointment, Carlos merely shook his head and stood up. He walked over to his desk and sat down, poking at some hunk of metal that he had been fiddling with for a while.

He should be happier that he had successfully avoided Jay's pity, but that voice was all Carlos could focus on. His heartbeat quickened at the mere memory of it.

Carlos had been sure that leaving Cruella on the Isle would stop her reign of terror over him. Oh, how wrong he was.

* * *

  * 8:39 AM, Cruella de Vil, "Tighter." and "Strangle that little beast."




	4. Evie Tries To Help

Sent: _Los freaked out again_

Received: _What happened???_

Sent: _He just ran in and couldn’t breathe_

Sent: _He didn’t want to talk about it_

Sent: _I don’t know what to do_

Received: _Did something happen while he was walking Dude?_

Sent: _I think so, but Dude wasn’t with him_

Sent: _E, he looked fucking terrified_

Received: _But he’s not scared of Dude_

Received: _…Is he?_

Sent: _…_

Sent: _I dunno_

Sent: _I'm gonna go to class in a bit  
_

Sent: _I’ll leave the door unlocked if you wanna drop by_

Received: _I’ll be there._

* * *

Jay glanced up from his phone to where Carlos was sitting.

From his vantage point, he could see Carlos' thin shoulders rise and fall steadily. He was still breathing easily. Jay had been routinely checking, just to make sure of that, for the past few hours.

He hadn't shown it, but Carlos had really freaked him out earlier. He had seen the boy's panic attacks before, but that one had seemed much worse. He hadn't been that scared since before they moved to Auradon.

Jay blamed Cruella for that. She was the one who had made Carlos constantly terrified when they were on the Isle. She was always there. Even when he ran away, she would find him. And if she didn't, Jasper or Horace would do it for her. There was no place safe from that madwoman, especially for Carlos.

A slight snore brought Jay out of his reverie, and he glanced up to see his roommate fast asleep, hunched over his desk. _That's good_ , he thought. He knew that Carlos hadn't been getting a lot of sleep recently. More often than not, Jay would wake up in the middle of the night to see Carlos tossing and turning, or even pacing.

Without warning, Carlos jerked awake. Jay pretended to be fixated with his phone but watched out of the corner of his eye as the boy looked around frantically to get his bearings. Then he exhaled softly and lay his head in his hands.

That couldn't have been a nightmare. Jay had lived with Carlos long enough to recognize when he was having a nightmare. Those involved twitches and crying out in pain or fear. This time was different. He had been sleeping soundly; it didn't make any sense to Jay.

Movement caught Jay's eye. Carlos was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a notebook. He opened it up and quickly wrote something down before returning the book to its pocket.

Jay didn't recognize the notebook, but, then again, Carlos had so many that it was hard to keep track of them all. However, he did make a mental note of exactly which pocket it had come from and the design on the cover. Maybe if he knew what Carlos was writing in the notebook, he would figure out what it was for and how he could help.

But not now. Now, he had to get to class.

The thief resolved to steal the notebook as soon as he could, thinking about when the best time would be while he stuffed books into his backpack.

"Later, 'Los!" Jay cheerfully called as he left the room. He only heard a mumbled response, as he closed the door but left it unlocked.

He set off towards his class with a thoughtful expression. It bothered Jay that Carlos didn't trust him to help. He wanted to help his friend, but he also wanted to respect his wishes. He hoped that Evie would be able to help.

* * *

Evie ran around her room, gathering her things. She was gripping her keys, just about to lock the door behind her, when a thought occurred to her: Carlos might not want to talk to her.

Grabbing a random book, Evie finally left the room. As she started walking down the hall, she slipped the book into her heart purse. Maybe, if Carlos didn't want to talk, her presence would be a comfort to him. In that case, the book would give her something to do.

She was already worried about him - it was practically her role in their group to worry; no one else would do it - but she didn't know how she would react if he wouldn't confide in her.

She was upset that Carlos was going through something and hadn't come to her. After all, she was one of his closest friends. they kept no secrets from each other.

At least, that's what she hoped.

Before she knew it, Evie was standing in front of the boys' room. It was strange; she had never felt apprehensive going into their room before. Nevertheless, she lifted her chin and turned the doorknob.

The room was the same that it had always been: the floor on Jay's side was strewn with clothes, while Carlos' side was pristine. The pup was sitting at his desk, halfheartedly fiddling with some weird hunk of metal.

He jumped when he heard her come in. That made her heart ache; he hadn't been this jittery since they were on the Isle. Upon seeing that it was just Evie, Carlos looked away, focusing all of his attention on his newest invention.

Evie strode in gracefully - because how else should a princess enter the room? - coming to a stop right next to Carlos. She didn't like the way that he tensed when she got close but didn't bring it up.

Instead, she lightly ruffled his curls. "How are you, pup?" she asked.

He mumbled something that _might_ have been a response but was so faint that Evie couldn't hear it. So she decided to try again, saying, "Carlos? Are you okay?"

This time, he nodded jerkily and answered in a slightly louder voice: "Just busy." He kept his eyes trained on the object in his hands.

Taking the hint, Evie ruffled his curls once more before sitting down on the floor a short way away. She pulled her book out and flipped through it, pretending to read. In actuality, Evie quickly found Jay's contact and texted him.

Sent: _You're right! Somethings definitely wrong_

Received: _I told you_

Received: _But I just dont know how to help_

Sent: _Perhaps it's better to just wait and watch_

Sent: _I'll let you know what I find_

Still pretending to read, Evie spent her time observing Carlos. She noticed that there were times when he suddenly stopped fiddling with his piece of metal. During those times, she sometimes caught a glimpse of his eyes darting to random places around the room.

Even more troubling, Carlos was flinching quite a bit. It wasn't as prominent as when Evie had first entered the room, but she made a note of it.

The princess had been watching him for about an hour before she noticed Carlos' fingers. Yes, they were agile and dexterous with his invention, but they had been twitching. More accurately, twitching towards his right pants pocket. The pocket that she knew held only one thing: his knife.

Back on the Isle, the four of them had all agreed that Carlos needed protection. They reasoned that he was the smallest out of all of them, and they weren't always going to be there to protect him - there were no sugarcoating things on the Isle.

So Carlos had recruited the rest of the Rotten Four to gather materials. Jay had stolen a stone plate from Jafar's shop, and the girls had gotten a chunk of wood from the docks. A week and a half later, Carlos was proudly holding his very own knife.

He had spent hours sharpening and polishing the stone until it could have passed for a mirror. Taking some of the oils he used on Cruella's furs, Carlos made his own varnish and rubbed the handle until it shone.

It was crude by Auradon's standards, but they all thought that it was beautiful. Carlos most of all. And it was sentimental to Carlos because they had all pitched in to help. He said that when he used it, it felt like they were all there, defending him against his attacker.

He had never parted with it since then.

Evie racked her brain, trying to figure out why Carlos would need his knife now. He wasn't in any danger, and there weren't any loud noises to startle him. It was baffling.

After a short while, Carlos scooted his chair away from his desk and made for the bathroom. That was normal at first, but he stayed in there for far too long. It didn't occur to Evie just how long he was gone until fifteen minutes had passed.

When Carlos finally exited the bathroom, Evie was horrified to see that his eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying. Of course, she covered up her emotions as if she hadn't noticed, but it made her even more anxious for the pup.

Evie's phone chimed. Looking down, she was greeted with a text from Mal.

Received: _where r u?_

Sent: _I'm with Carlos_

Received: _come back. its dinnertime and im hungry_

Received: _we can make fun of a mvie while we eat_

Sent: _...Fine._

Sent: _But only if I can pick out the movie_

She stuffed the book - only just now realizing that she had been holding it upside down - back into her heart purse. "Carlos," Evie started, walking over to his desk. As she approached, she noticed that her friend stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued to stare at the desk, refusing to look her way.

"Mal and I are going to eat and watch a movie in our room. You're welcome to join us if you want." She pulled him into a hug, faltering slightly at how he tensed from her proximity. "I know you can never say no to pizza for dinner with peanut butter cups for dessert."

But Carlos barely glanced at her, clearly engrossed in the desk and his project. After about a minute with no response, Evie stood up to go, only barely seeing a single tear hit Carlos' desk before it was wiped away.

"I'm fine," Carlos mumbled as Evie turned the doorknob.

_No, you're not_ , Evie thought. Instead, she smiled brightly - even though he still wasn't looking at her - and said, "Okay. Maybe next time, then."

With that, Evie closed the door and started down the hallway to her own room, still trying to figure out what was wrong with her friend.

* * *

  * 1:06 PM, female voice, indistinguishable
  * 2:38 PM, deep male voice, "Stab her." and "Do it now."




	5. You Should Be Scared Of Me

Days passed and the pages of Carlos' notebook slowly filled up. After the voice had told him to kill Evie, Carlos was doing his best to distance himself from the rest of the Core Four.

Carlos couldn't remember the last time he was this depressed. His friends had always helped lift his spirits, but he was keeping away from them, Usually, when Mal, Jay, and Evie were busy, he would hang out with Dude, but he was trying to avoid the little dog as well. Ever since he had heard his mother's voice, he was afraid that he would turn into her.

Carlos grit his teeth. He was not his mother!

Was he?

Standing up, the boy walked quickly to the bathroom, wincing at the sound of a distant scream.

The first time he had heard a scream like that, he had freaked out. He had run outside, looking around frantically for whoever was in trouble. It took him about ten minutes to notice that no one else was looking panicked, and only a minute after that to realize that it must have just been in his head. Ever since then, he tried to ignore them, but it was getting hard to distinguish what reality was.

Carlos gripped the sides of the sink, staring at his reflection in the bathroom. However, no matter how long he stared, he could only see her.

He could see her in his hair, in the black-and-white color scheme that she took pride in.

Carlos' eyes trailed down to his face, seeing his multitude of freckles. For as long as he could remember, Cruella had admired his 'spots'. It was the only positive thing she ever said about him.

However, she always followed this positivity with a comment about how she wished Auradon hadn't taken away her skinning knives. Even though Carlos knew that it was coming, that sentence always chilled him to the bone. He didn't like to imagine his own mother turning him into...

Nope. Carlos shut that thought down quickly.

Even his teeth reminded him of her. His canine teeth had always been slightly larger than the rest, and Cruella liked to remind him that they were just like a dog's: perfect for tearing out throats.

_My own little attack dog_ , she would say while caressing his cheek. Then, she would always grab him by the hair and lead him to his next chore. She always pretended to be gentle before she hurt him. _Don't forget that I can put you down at any time!_

He couldn't look at himself anymore, couldn't bear to see those features that only reminded him of his mother.

In a sudden flash of anger, Carlos' fist reared back and crashed into the mirror. Shards of reflective glass fell to the floor around him. He looked at his hand, cut up and bleeding. It didn't hurt... just mostly numb. Then again, that was how Carlos had felt for weeks.

He hated the mirrors, he decided. They were just there to remind him of Cruella with his reflection. _Look at who you're gonna turn into,_ they seemed to whisper to him. _You can't help it. It's who you are_.

Acting on impulse, Carlos ran over to his desk and started rifling through one of the drawers. Where was it? It had been here just a few days-

There!

Carlos finally pulled out a small screwdriver.

Working quickly, he pulled down all of the mirrors. He hadn't noticed until then just how many mirrors Auradon bathrooms had.

After an hour of hauling mirrors and sweeping up shards, the bathroom was mirror-free, and the hallway outside the room looked like a yard sale. He had even taken down the full-length mirrors and piled them outside.

Taking a moment to rest, Carlos flopped down on his bed. He had been losing sleep consistently for weeks now, and the sudden exertion had sapped his energy. Stifling a yawn, Carlos let his eyes slide shut.

"Holy shit," came a breathy voice.

It was Jay's voice, Carlos was sure of that. He forced one eye open to see his roommate standing in the hallway just outside their room. Carlos must have forgotten to close the door. Whatever. Jay would close it when he came into the room.

"Dude, did you do that?" Jay was looking at him, now. It was strange, Carlos could swear he saw fear in Jay's eyes.

Taking his non-answer as a 'yes', Jay ran his fingers through his hair and made an exasperated noise. Without saying anything else, he walked out of the room and closed the door.

Carlos walked over to his desk. He hadn't made any headway on the gadget he was working on, but he still liked to fiddle around with it.

He heard the door open again, and knew that Jay was back.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of a female's voice in his ear, saying, " _I'm here for you_."

The voices never spoke in a predictable pattern. They always scared Carlos because he never could predict when some _thing_ would whisper in his ear.

This voice, like always, made him jump. It was so ominous; were the voices finally here to take him away? Drag him back to the Isle where he belonged? His hands rushed to cover his ears, hoping that that would block the voices out. it never worked, but he always had to try.

Carlos squeezed his eyes shut, preferring to see nothing than the shadows dancing in his periphery. They seemed to mock him. They had grown steadily over the past few days, no longer small flickers. No, they were now much more visible. It was almost like Carlos was looking through a picture frame made of darkness, always visible, but only on the edges of his vision. How much longer until they encroached completely on his eyesight?

A hand on his shoulder brought Carlos back to reality. He looked up to see Mal, Jay, and Evie standing next to him. They all looked concerned, even Dude, who was cradled in Evie's arms.

He looked up at his friends and only saw the pity they had for him. His fear quickly turned to anger. He wasn't weak, so why did they pity him?

"C..." Evie began "please tell us what's wrong. We want to help you."

Carlos remained in sullen silence.

Mal crossed her arms. "We know something's wrong, so don't ignore us. You don't pay attention in class anymore, you don't talk... Evil, you don't even play with Dude anymore!"

Evie stepped forward. "Look, if something happened to make you scared of Dude again, it's fine. He's okay. You're his best friend. He wouldn't hurt you. See?" Upon saying this, she gently rested the mutt in Carlos' lap.

Carlos stiffened instinctively, but relaxed a bit when Dude started licking his face. He _had_ missed the dog... He felt his hands reach up of their own accord and start to pet Dude in the way that he liked it. The action was so familiar, it was easy to fall back into.

Without warning, the shadows in his vision swirled, turning his entire eyesight black. His breath hitched as he started to panic. The shadows had never done this before! The darkness stayed there for only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime to Carlos.

When his dorm room swam back into focus, Carlos blinked a few times to steady his vision. The rest of the Core Four were still standing in front of him, but they were all... shouting? Why would they be shouting at him?

He shook his head to clear it, before he finally looked down. What he saw there shocked and terrified him. His hands were around Dude's little throat, squeezing tightly. The dog was struggling to get away from Carlos, but his grip was too strong.

Horrified, Carlos released Dude, who immediately darted out of the room. He stood up from his chair abruptly, knocking it down as he backed away from the other three until his back was against the wall. He held his hand out, palm side facing them, telling them to not come any closer.

"Stay back!" He cried. He couldn't look any of them in the eyes, so he kept his eyesight trained on the floor.

"Carlos..." Jay began, but trailed off.

Carlos turned around and fled before anyone could say anything else. He wasn't even sure where he was going, but that didn't matter. He had to get away before he hurt someone else.

_I'm a monster_ , he thought as he ran into the trees surrounding the tourney field.  



	6. Monster

Feet were flying through the underbrush, and branches whipped across Carlos' face. They left scratches all over his cheeks and bare arms, but those scratches only blended in with the scars that Cruella had left.

He really was turning into her. He had choked a dog. And not just any dog; it had been Dude, for Hades' sake! It made him sick to even think about.

When he first met Dude, he had made an oath to himself. He had promised that he would never hurt a dog. And he couldn't believe that he had hurt Dude like that.

Carlos yelped as he ran through a thorn bush, shredding his shirt and cutting him up even more. He kept running, though. He couldn't let the rest of the Core Four catch him. He could hear them chasing him, but Carlos had been running from bullies and creepy perverts his entire life.

Banking left, Carlos realized that his legs were shaking. Quickly, he assessed what was wrong as he ducked under a low-hanging branch. He wasn't tired from running, nor had he been hurt too much. Since those possibilities were out, he had it narrowed down to either panic or sleep deprivation. Neither one were good options to have at the moment, so Carlos frantically glanced around.

Finally, his eyes landed on a tree with a lot of branches. The leaves would be able to hide him until everyone left. Without a second thought, Carlos grabbed the lowest branch and hauled himself up until he was perched on one of the branches.

Looking himself over, Carlos realized that, even though he had the leaf cover, the white on his shirt was making him too easy to see.

_Forgive me, Evie_ , he thought briefly before he used his knife to shred the shirt even more, completely removing all white from it.

It was almost symbolic in a way. The more shadows entered his life, the less good he could do and the less 'pure' he was. The thought that he could ever be pure was idiotic, but Fairy Godmother had declared the Four "good with pure hearts." Mal had rolled her eyes, but the rest of them could tell that she had appreciated the compliment.

What would she do if she ever caught him? A voice answered his unspoken question: _**"They want to put you back on the Isle. That's where you belong, though, right?"**_

Carlos covered his ears with his hands, but it was futile; nothing had ever worked against the voices, so why would it now? Another one chimed in, saying, _**"It's where they imprison all the monsters."**_

Suddenly, a third voice hissed in his ear. This one was as low and threatening as he remembered it. _**"And you, Carlos de Vil,"**_ Cruella sneered. _**"Are definitely a monster."**_

Carlos whimpered involuntarily when he heard that. He curled his hands into fists, ignoring how his fingernails dug into his palms. "Get out of my head," he growled as loud as he dared, not wanting to attract anyone's attention. He knocked his fist into the side of his head, not hard enough to knock himself out, but enough to hurt.

"Get. Out." Carlos muttered again, thumping his head again and again.

A rustling sound brought Carlos back to reality. Acting instantly due to many, many years running on the Isle, Carlos reached into his pocket, grasped the handle of his beloved knife, and threw it in the direction of the sound. It was only after the weapon left Carlos' hand that he realized who was looking for him.

Unfortunately, Carlos' aim was good. He heard a grunt, and then the sound of someone falling to the ground.

Panicking, the boy scrambled down the tree and rushed over to whoever he had hit. As he pushed the bushes back, Carlos gulped as he saw Jay lying on the ground with blood on his clothes. Luckily, he hadn’t hit any vitals, but the wound looked pretty bad. The dagger was still lodged in Jay’s shoulder, and his clothes were already stained red.

“Oh my evil! Jay, I’m so sorry!” Carlos babbled as he pulled the knife out and ripped off a section of his shorts to staunch the bleeding. Jay was saying something, but Carlos couldn’t seem to focus on him to hear his words.

He stared at his shaking hands, dripping with his friend’s blood. “I really am a monster,” he muttered, just loud enough for Jay to hear.

Without another word, Carlos sprinted away.


	7. Cannot Stop This Sickness Taking Over

Carlos spun around, his eyes moving too quickly to register anything except the shadows. The shadows were always there. It was getting harder and harder to see through them, but he had to keep trying. He had to see where…

Where was he going again?

It was so hard to think. Carlos nearly asked the figure in front of him for directions but stopped to look at it first.

The figure looked like a person, but it was standing in the shade of an unusually large tree. When Carlos looked closer, he saw that the figure wasn’t wearing dark clothes as he had initially thought. Instead, the creature seemed to be made entirely of shadow.

Carlos backpedaled frantically, bumping into a tree trunk. When he looked back up, the figure had vanished.

His hand trembling, Carlos reached towards his left pants pocket to log the encounter. He had never seen the shadows look like a person before.

But his searching fingers felt only the soft inside of his pocket. Carlos felt a lightning bolt of panic. If he couldn't write these events down, how would he remember everything?

The shadows must have taken it, Carlos realizes. Of course, it all made sense to his addled mind. If he couldn’t log them, he couldn’t keep track of them.

Carlos strained to think of what he had been doing. He had been doing something important, but he just couldn’t remember. He rested his head against the tree he was leaning up against. Was he looking for somewhere to sleep? That didn’t seem right. He had been running, hadn’t he?

Yes, that was right. He had been running. Carlos couldn’t remember exactly why, but he knew that it was necessary. He probably should keep running, Carlos thought as he turned and took a few steps.

Without warning, Carlos looked up to see another shadow person (or maybe it was the same one) rush right for him. It approached fast, faster than anything with good intentions would. The terror that Carlos felt was mind-numbing. The ice-cold feeling of pure fear shot through his body.

When Carlos had first arrived in Auradon, he had spent nearly all of his free time (when he wasn’t plotting with the others to steal the wand) in the library. He worked his way through the library subject by subject.

One book that he had picked up for a bit of light reading had been a psychology book. In it was an entire chapter devoted to the fight or flight response that one has to a threat. Some people instinctively fight, some people run away. For the longest time, Carlos thought that his natural reaction to panic was flight.

But, according to the book, there was a widely-unknown third category: freeze. Some animals freeze when they detect a predator so that they are harder to see. Carlos froze because his panic numbed him so completely that he would fall to the ground if he tried to run.

Carlos dropped to the ground anyway, doing his best to ignore how the trees reached towards him with spindly fingers and red eyes glowed from the underbrush. It looked like the entire forest was staring at him, judging him. Haunting him. He curled up into a fetal position. He ignored the dirt that marred his shredded clothes and the cold wind that pierced him right down to the bone.

Overwhelmed by absolutely everything, Carlos started crying. He wailed - completely unaware of how loud he was - both as a release and to drown out the voices. The indistinguishable whispering was nearly constant now, nearly driving him insane with their murmuring.

Eventually, Carlos wore himself out and lost consciousness. His sleep was far from being restful, but it gave him at least a bit of reprieve from the whispers and shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, the encounter that Carlos has in this chapter with the thing rushing towards him was not made up. I actually experienced that and did my best to write it out for this story. It was probably the single scariest event of my life, so I thought it was appropriate, given how terrified Carlos is getting.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Reading comments and answering questions about my writing makes my day.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me on Tumblr, I'm yourlunarspice there: https://yourlunarspice.tumblr.com/. I'll answer any questions about my stories or writing process.


End file.
